Hello my friend. Let me introduce myself. I am Maggie Crowder, mother of 3 grown children and grandmother to 4 incredible granddaughters. Raised in the greater Kansas City area,  I graduated high school in 1974 and have dabbled in college online. It is in my plan to continue my education as time and money permit.

I won't be including any real names or relationships on this site so as not to hurt anyone if I can keep from it.  Like a good friend of mine says,"If you think you know who I'm talking about... It's somebody else".

The types of abuses I have experienced personally are, and are not limited to, Neglect, sexual abuse, rape (more than a couple), intimidation, verbal abuse, economic abuse, physical abuse and more. I also became a "cutter", thinking that cutting myself would help release some of the horrible pain in my heart.  I found that self mutilation isn't the answer and it does nothing at all for the pain.  Please don't try turning to cutting.  It's dangerous and serves absolutely NO purpose. I have the scars on my body from that period of time and had, at one time planned to see a plastic surgeon about removing them. God said, "No. They are a part of your testimony."  The scars remain. 
  There is a hand out called the "Power and Control Wheel". This wheel indicates what kinds of abuses there are and the description of each.  This paper hand out is invaluable and teaches us how to recognize abuse in our lives and the lives of others.  If our daughters, sons, grandchildren, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, friends and neighbors are suffering at the will of others, we need to know that so we can help.  I will say here though, do not step in without the help of professionals.  You can get yourself and the person you love hurt or in danger.  Don't try to be a hero. 

I never thought that bruises on the arms were a sign of abuse.  I thought that you had to have a black eye or blood somewhere to think you might be being abused. I never thought that someone two inches from your face yelling at you as loud as they can could be abuse.  I never thought that not being allowed to get and keep a job could be considered a form of abuse.  I knew, however, when put through the sheetrock of the bedroom wall, I was being abused.  I knew when I was in a tight headlock that I might have a broken neck by the end of the night. I didn't have to let it get that far to recognize it as abuse. I just wasn't informed. 

My abuse started at the age of about 3 yrs old. It started with molestation by a "family friend".  This molestation continued until I was about 7 or 8 yrs old. This was my introduction to 47 yrs of abuse and domestic violence.  I'll share more at time goes on but I know that many of you have experienced this same childhood.  There is life after molestation.  Hang in there with me and we'll get through it together.

Undoubtedly, there are some of you who experience sleeping in the car with the doors locked as I did at one point. That sounds bad but it was preferrable to enduring sodomy rape every night. I know what you're thinking and you're right. Neither one of these situations is an appropriate way to live. Thank God I don't have to anymore!  Neither do you and I could help you find your way out.

Do you have any idea how many families out there are so overwhelmed with the children being physically, sexually, emotionally abused and even more?  Mine were.  God love them, they are doing well but not as well as people who had not had to endure that same childhood.  My children, grandchildren and I are very close but it could easily have gone another direction.  They could have blamed me and even hated me.  This message is to my family...You're the best and I just couldn't love you more!   To everyone, Break the cycle of violence now before it gets worse.

As you have gathered already, I'm a big fan and supporter of battered women's shelters and I highly recommend that you consider them and even talk to someone there to get more information and help. 

Thats right, this is where the battered women's shelters and websites that deal with domestic violence can help. You can learn so much at absolutely NO cost to you.  Take your hand, reach out and accept the help offered.  Be safe and happy.  Be free. You probably feel like that is impossible right now but I'm here to tell you from experience that you CAN be free and safe and happy.  If you have children, you can break this cycle NOW before your children get the idea that this is  how life is supposed to be.  Put a stop to the violence and insure a better and safer life for your children and anyone else who looks up to you.

  Please come back often and be sure to sign the guestbook. I will be sharing more of my life and the things that happened along the way.  If there is something in particular that you want me to talk about here, contact me using the email address given at "Contact Me".

God bless you and I'll see you here soon.
         Maggie